batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Rumble strips road head = magical
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
