Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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