If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
