You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
