This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
