The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
