so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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