I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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