I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
