You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
