I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
