I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
