I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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