i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
