it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
