He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
