I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
