Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize