she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
