you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
