I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
