My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
