in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dicks are not precious.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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