my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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