the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
