Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
