dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
