she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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