is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
NoShamevember. You game?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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