I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
