Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
