I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
