Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize