you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
