Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize