I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
