Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
