When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
