fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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