So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
