areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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