Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
