yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
