worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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