i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize