I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
