The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
