Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
