Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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