the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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