Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
