THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
