Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
nutella sex= disaster
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
