I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
