Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
