I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The Olympian is in my bed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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