if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
