i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
