i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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