I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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